


200 Beats Per Minute

by liquidheartbeats



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-14 12:15:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16492418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquidheartbeats/pseuds/liquidheartbeats
Summary: Death comes to Barry slowly, after his final battle with Reverse Flash, giving Iris time to say her final goodbyes, ponder over their life together, and all of the things they’ll never experience with their three-year-old daughter, Nora.





	1. Chapter 1

Heavy gauze laid in the gaping hole in Barry's chest, thanks to the thermite-infused bomb used by Reverse Flash during their final battle. Anyone else would have been pulverized on the spot, but the speed force, Cisco had theorized, had a soft spot for its crimson hero, and had acted on his behalf, manifesting itself in the form of a shield, and redirecting the energy back to the Reverse Flash before he could get away, killing him instantly. Unfortunately, not even it had been strong enough to protect Barry from the impact, which had been created solely with the intent to break through a speedster’s defenses.

The speedster strength painkillers that Caitlin had shot him up with were the only things that had quieted his screeching, but his situation was still bleak. Gently as she could, she’d warned Iris: Barry’s cells were in a rapid state of degeneration; his body wasn’t healing—and save for a miracle, that probably wouldn’t come (ever the scientist)—Barry would be dead before day fall. “If you want to say goodbye, I can wake him up, but he probably won’t be able to respond,” the doctor, whose face was streaked with tears, had said, before exiting the room to join Joe, Cisco, and Nora in the cortex.

It was an attempt to give Iris a moment of privacy with her husband, but she resented the fact that she was alone to deal with this. Pressing her eyes shut, she choked back the pesky sob in her throat that threatened to send her into a full-on breakdown.

Iris’s legs had buckled, those first moments after Cisco had breached Barry back into the med bay. For all of the horrific screaming coming from Barry’s comms, the sight of the man she’d fallen in love with, bleeding profusely, skin singed, body still smoking, knocked the wind out of her.If her father hadn’t been standing behind her, she would have surely hit the floor. The added visual element painted a crystal clear picture of his condition. 

Relief passed over Iris when Caitlin knocked him out, but could she live with him being in complete agony, the last time she'd ever see him awake?

Ominous beeping interrupted her thoughts.

Iris’s eyes shot to the heart monitor.

Barry's heart rate had dropped from 500 to 450 beats a minute—critically low for a speedster whose resting heart rate topped out at 950, and Iris realized realized she was on the clock.

437.  
436.  
428.  
416.  
400.  
Hand pressed over her mouth, she shook her head. “I don’t know what to do.”

Once Barry's heart rate plummeted to 200, death would come within minutes, and her chance to get closure would be gone forever.

Grappling between allowing the love of her life to live out his final moments in unimaginable pain—just so she could say her goodbyes, or letting him pass on serenely, was the hardest decision she’d ever had to make. It was a decision, which she was alternating between by the minute, it seemed.

Iris’s mind traveled to Nora. She was seated out in the cortex, being entertained by a weary Papa Joe and Uncle Cisco. Nora thought it a treat that she was allowed to stay up this late, without being coaxed to go to bed. She hadn't the slightest idea that the single person in the world whose arms she’d allow herself to fall asleep in, whose voice had sung her favorite lullabies, and soothed her midnight cries, was dying. 

Nora would never know, first hand, the depth of Barry's love for her, or how every single decision he'd made since she was born was based on his insistence on keeping her safe and happy.

As much as Iris loved Barry, that is probably what hurt the most.

Their daughter would never know how Barry's eyes had lit up when she'd finally emerged from Iris's womb, after her long, excruciating labor, or how that smile hadn't left his face since, even on bad days. She would never know how she occupied a place in his heart, that no one else--not even Iris--had before, and that her mere existence, created a compartment accessed only by her. 

She would never knew that goofy happiness that had radiated from every single cell in Barry's body, when he'd sped in on her taking her first steps. His body was blazing in pain, from fighting with an angry meta, but in that moment, all he felt was joy. 

She would never know how in tune with her he was. The slightest mumble, made in the middle of the night, would wake him. Even if he knew she was okay, he still had to be sure. 

“Heaven doesn’t need another angel—we need him, God,” she begrudged in anger, slamming her fists into the walls. She'd reconcile her anger with her creator later, repenting if necessary. Right now, she had to release what she was feeling. 

She didn't understand how a man who spent every single waking hour, serving others, running towards bullets, into fires, into a sociopathic speedster’s trap, knowing that it might be the last damn fight he’d ever fight, be just blown to shreds like a rag doll?

How could God see fit to let him die when rapists and murderers were sleeping somewhere peacefully, while Iris had her baby in a cold, dreary lab at 11 pm at night, so she could see her father one last time, and hope that his mangled body didn’t give her innocent eyes nightmares for years to come?

If the wages of sin was death, then how could undying sacrifice bring about worse consequences: a darker, more painful death, marked by ripples, which extended much farther than just Barry’s life?

The city was losing its hero, Joe, a son, Cisco, a best friend, Iris, a husband, and sweet, baby Nora, whose bones already crackled with electricity every time she got excited, or upset, was losing a father—the one man who could teach her how to hone that power that coursed through her veins.

Nora West-Allen would suffer the very same fate that she and Barry had—robbed of a chance to grow up in a two-parent home, filled to the brim with more love than her heart could hold.

Overflowing love is what had led to Nora’s creation, and overflowing love is what would lead to Barry’s demise.

It was a nasty reminder of the vicious circle of life, just like the fact that Barry’s transformation into a speedster had started in this godforsaken building, and his transition into the void would take place here as well.

“It’s not fair,” she said aloud, walking back over to Barry’s bed, then grabbed his hands in her own.

They were covered in blisters and abrasions, and were leathery to the touch, smelling strongly of burnt flesh—nothing like the hands that had known her body inside and out, which had been used to comfort her, and cook her gourmet-worthy meals. Nothing like the hands she’d held in the dark when they’d watch scary movies, or the ones which would wipe her tears away when she confided in him about her ability to be a good mother, or her other fears, which he’d assured her were baseless.

She noticed his white gold wedding band sitting pristinely upon his ring finger, the only one left untouched, and that's when she lost it.

Deep, guttural cries sprang forth from the bottom of her stomach—a cruel taunt from the universe if she’d ever seen one.

This was not supposed to be their life. 

Their days were supposed to have been filled with love and laughter, burnt dinners made by Iris, which Barry would have had to teach Nora to pretend to enjoy, until Nora was old enough to cook. 

They were supposed to go to Disneyland. They'd never been before, despite Barry's ability to travel far and wide. Their schedules were always too packed, but Nora would be the person who broke that mold, because it's not like he'd ever be able to turn her down.

A few years after that, Barry was supposed to escort Nora to her first father/daughter dance, later on, walk her down the aisle to the only man he hadn't managed to scare off, the one person who was worthy of his daughter's love. 

Iris was not supposed to watch her husband die a slow, painful death. They were supposed to live a long, life together, grow old, then die of natural causes. Their daughter, hopefully in her old age, was supposed to bury them both, after having enjoyed a long life with them.

She pressed his hand into her chest, and rested her head over his lifeless body, unleashing the sobs which wanted, more than anything, to be set free. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair, and she couldn't go on pretending like it was. 

“I don’t know how I’m going to live without you, Barry. How am I supposed to face each day, without the person who makes even the most daunting situations feel like a walk in the park? How am I supposed to raise our daughter alone? I'm not a speedster, I don't know teach her to be a hero. I need you to pull through, please. I don't care if Caitlin says it's impossible. Our entire lives revolved around the impossible, and if anyone could beat this, it would be you, Barr. Please, I love you so much. I need you. The team needs you. Our daughter needs you."

Beep.

Iris ignored the machine. She knew she couldn't stomach seeing that the number had dipped even lower. 

Again, it beeped.

She shook her head. "Oh God."

Then once more, and tgain after that.

“God, He’s getting worse." If she was going to have Caitlin wake him, it was now or never.

Slowly, she raised her head and, with strained eyes, looked over to the monitor.

To her surprise, it read: 458. Then 468, 490, 550, 579. She cocked a brow, watching in awe as the numbers before her climbed higher and higher, each jump signaling a stronger heartbeat than before.

610.

Was the miracle Caitlin had encouraged her not to expect, show up at the last minute? More importantly, would she be strong enough, in the event it hadn’t?

The pained voicing of her name, drawing out the “I” sound, coupled with movement underneath her hand, cut through her skepticism. Iris blinked in disbelief. Her eyes welled up with cautiously hopeful tears. Slowly, she turned back to see Barry looking up at her, a pained smile resting on his face.

"B-Barry?"

**To be continued in part 2.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will probably be four chapters. So two more to go.

 

“Iris,” Barry said again. His voice was painfully scratchy, but also it reeked of fond recognition, and warmth.

“Oh my God, Barry. You’re awake. Baby. You’re awake,” Iris breathed of relief.

Barry nodded as best he could, before realizing how limited his range of motion was.

“No, don’t move babe.” Iris quickly stood, hand still clasped in his, and used her free one to adjust the pillow underneath his head.

“No worry there.” Be bemoaned.

“Is that better?”

He groaned. “Yes, thank you.”

“Are you sure? Are you hurting? Caitlin can up your dosage of painkillers. Yes. Yes, that’s it.” Iris let Barry’s hand slip from hers as she turned to leave, but a gentle tug stopped her in her tracks.

“Wait. Iris.”

Glancing back down, she asked, “What’s wrong, Barr?”

“I don’t need more painkillers."

Her face dropped. “But I thought.”

“I’m sore, yes, but my body is also weirdly numb.”

“Thank God.”

“ I just, I just can’t move much,” he said, trying in vain.

Beep.

Iris’s eyes shot over to the heart monitor.

590\. 578. 574.

“Then what do you need, Barr?” She asked, attempting to hide the unrest show on her face.

572\. 570.

She gasped softly. He was losing the little bit of ground he’d made.

Her fixation on the screen had her miss the contemplating look on Barry’s face. Silence followed, then Barry gulped like he was trying to figure out the best way to say what he was feeling.

“I’m dying, aren’t I?” He said a moment later.

Eyes wide, Iris twisted back towards him.“No, Barr. What? Why-.” Her voice caught.

“Tell me, baby," he croaked, gently running his thumb over her hand. “I’d rather hear it from you than Cait.”

Iris pressed her lips together and resigned her gaze up toward the ceiling. “According to Caitlin," she started slowly, before returning her gaze to him, “but, she could be wrong. You’ve been banged up before. After Zoom. When you tried to get your powers back. Even your coma all those years ago. Nothing is set in stone.”

Frantically, Iris continued listing off every single dire situation that Barry had pulled through, hoping to convince him—and herself—that this was not the end.

“NO.” He cut her off, more power in his voice them before.

“No?” She asked, slightly taken aback.

“This time is...different,” he said, sweeter this time.

“How?”

“I can’t very well explain it, but that bomb, that attack...it took more out of me than anything has before. It was laced with something sinister…"

“Thermite...Cisco says thermite.”

“I feel like it’s draining me of my life force. When I was out, I could feel my soul drifting into a sea of darkness, moving further and further away from this life. Your voice brought me back, but this...is...probably it for me, Iris.” he said, every bit of levity gone from his voice.

“Oh, God. Barr,” Iris said, finally breaking down. Caitlin’s depressing prognosis was one thing, but to hear it from Barry’s own lips, the living, breathing embodiment of hope and faith, made this painfully real for her. “I’m so sorry,” she bawled, “I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve this. I should have never let you go into battle with that speed demon, Barry. I’ll never forgive myself for not asking you to stay.”

“Hey, HEY. This is NOT your fault. There is nothing you could have done, and I don’t wanna hear you talk like that.”

“Don’t talk like that? Am I supposed to be happy that my husband, my best friend, my life partner, Is dying? We've been in each other's lives for over 20 years. We were supposed to be happy."

There was an uncharacteristic whine to Iris's voice, one that one almost childlike, like she was pleading with a teacher or parent about not wanting to be put in time out. But it fell in line, perfectly, with how she felt. As her husband inched closer and closer to death, and she faced a life without him, as a single mother, she felt just as small and helpless as a child, bargaining with an authority figure to thwart her punishment.

"We were supposed to at least make it to the golden anniversary," she continued to lament.

Barry digested her words. in silence, eventually offering, “Golden anniversary, huh? Fifty years is a bit ambitious for a woman that would have probably divorced me for someone a little more handsome, with a little less baggage. Someone without a laundry list of enemies," he said, smiling softly.

Iris scoffed in disbelief. “How can you possible be joking at a time like this?”

“Because you are too beautiful to be crying. Now come here,” he said, extending his outstretched hand to her.

Tempted to take his hand, and harness the warmth of his body one last time, she looked down at her broken hero, surveying his body.  
Between his charred skin, his likely broken ribs, the hole in his chest, he looked like he’d dissolve into dust if she even breathed on him too harshly.

She shook her head. “No, I don’t think I should.”

Gently, he huffed. “Dying man gets to make the rules, and dying man wants the love of his life."

“No. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Thanks to Cait, you could detonate a bomb on my chest, and I wouldn't’ feel anything. Oh wait."

He laughed, and the smile that crept across Iris’s face was in direct opposition with the mood in the atmosphere, Barry’s situation, or every single emotion she was feeling, but there was just something about how, even now, as he was dying, he wanted to make her laugh that touched her heart.

Ever the selfless hero.

“There’s that beautiful smile I love so much.”

“Oh Barr,” Iris said, finally relenting. Slowly, and methodically, Iris raised a knee, so she could join Barry on the gurney. A soft sigh escaped her lips when her head made contact with his chest, and she felt his arms wrap around her.

“I love you so much.”

“Not nearly a much as I love you."

Beep.

It was instinct at this point, that Iris’s attention would turn towards the monitor. This time, Barry stopped her when she tried, “No,” he said voice stern. “I don’t want to spend our last few hours together worried about some numbers on a screen, okay?”

Again the machine beeped, and Iris tried to protest, but Barry pushed a firm kiss to her forehead. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

Both grew quiet. Though Iris knew that Barry was being strong by establishing the difficult reality for her that she wouldn't, she knew he was just as distraught as she was. “I should tell the others you’re awake,” Iris said, absently drawing circles over his abdomen.

It was the only thing she could say to fill the lull in the conversation. As long as Barry’s heart rate proved steady, even if she knew other factors were at play, she knew they had a little more time. Time that Iris wanted, nothing more than, to spend in Barry’s arms, but she knew it would be selfish of her to hog it all for herself. He’d impacted many lives, and everyone deserved time to say their goodbyes.

“They’re still here?”

Iris nodded. “Of course, Barr. They just wanted to give me some privacy. Caitlin didn’t think you’d wake up on your own, or if you’d even be able to speak if you did.”

More silence followed. “I see. And. And-?” His voice dropped off. For all of his strength, he was displaying for Iris, there were so many unspoken words he couldn’t bear to say yet.

How he believed, that even from beyond the grave, he'd never be able to forget the impact Iris had made on his life, and how he hoped the small, minute moments between them, like the way she got angry with him when refused to tell her how bad of a cook she was, were the highlight of his morning, or how beautiful she looked when she first stepped out of the shower, every trace of makeup washed from her beautiful, glowing face, how sometimes he didn't mind getting beat up by metas, because she gave the best damn backrubs in the world, and made the pain worth it, were what he hoped he'd never be without.

How he'd hit the jackpot, in every sense of the word, in both a best friend and a wife, for there would never be anymore more beautiful, kind, and better for him than her but also..how sorry he was for putting her in this position.

How much he hated that these powers, which were supposed to be used to protect her, had put a target on their backs, and had ultimately taken him away from her. How he was sorry his debt to the city was now put in her name, the thought of everything they were going to miss out on was making his stomach quake.

How. How...

“Is Nora here?” He finally spit out

His beautiful, sweet, innocent child's name on his semi-charred lips is what finally broke him, evidenced by the violent tears that had started to stream down his face.

“Oh, Don't cry Barry," Iris said, maneuvering herself so she could wipe his tears away with her hands

“Is-is our baby awake?” He asked, hope returning to his voice, nearly drowned out by the sobs.

“She’s probably asleep by now. Do you want to see her?”

“No. I mean yes. I mean. No.

"No? Barry."

"Look at me. I’ll scare her.”

“That crossed my mind, but she deserves to see her 'dada' one last time.”

“NO. Okay? She doesn't need to see me like this," he said, voice undeniably cross. 

“Okay, I’m sorry. Barry.” Iris replied, unable to hide the hurt in her voice.

Barry returned his hand to her back. “No. I’m sorry. I just. Fuck!" He sniffed, attempting to get ahold of his emotions, but it was no use. Thinking about Nora had been the catalyst, which had forced him to face this. "I don’t want to die, Iris,” he admitted finally, unable to be on any longer. It required way more energy than he had in his reserves. Continuing, he said, “I don’t want to leave you, and I don’t want our baby's last memory of me to be this scary, bloodied figure."

“I know, baby. I know,” Iris repeated over and over, cradling Barry’s face in her hands. It was the only thing she could say, for she had no way out of this for him...

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Can’t say how the days will unfold,” Barry sang, starting weakly. Slowly, Nora turned towards the voice responsible for the song Barry had not only used to propose to Iris, but also, the song that had become one of Nora’s favorite bedtime lullabies.
> 
> “Can’t change what the future may hold, but I want you in it, every hour, every minute," he continued.
> 
> “Dada?” Nora asked, looking around the room for the familiar face she’d heard those words from a million times.
> 
> Iris took a step closer to the bed. Louder, Barry continued, “This world can race by far too fast. Hard to see while it’s all flying past, but it’s clear now—“
> 
> “Dada!” Nora screamed, eyes wide, as she realized the injured man in front of her wasn't a monster, it was indeed actually her father.

  
Cisco and Caitlin jumped up when Iris made her way to the cortex. Cautious optimism bubbled just underneath the surface of the grief on their faces, probably due to the fact that Iris was standing upright, and not in a fit of tears. “Iris…” they said, in sync with Joe, who couldn’t stand, due to her daughter’s presence in his lap.

Iris started to respond, but Nora’s wide-eyed fixation on the game on her grandfather’s phone caught her off guard. It was well after Nora's bedtime, but she showed not a hint of fatigue.

Then it hit her. Nora wasn't asleep, because her routine had been interrupted.

Despite their hectic lives, she and Barry kept Nora on a strict bedtime schedule. No matter what happened during the day, she was always in bed by a reasonable time. Tonight, however, she was stuck in the lab without her bath or warm cup of milk. Most importantly, Barry hadn't been there to run through their bedtime singalong.

Iris pressed her eyes shut.

Nora obviously already missed her father. Soon, she would miss him for an eternity, and that was too much for Iris’s heart to bear. A sob tried to rise up from Iris's throat. She caught it, hand pressed against her mouth.

“Iris. Is it Barry?!” Joe yelled, trying to get her attention. "How's Barry?"

That snapped her out of it. “Oh, I'm sorry.” Iris said quickly, “I’m sorry, Barry's okay. Awake actually.”

"Oh, Thank God." Joe said.

“Awake?!” Caitlin asked, in disbelief.

"And talking," Iris added.

“Can we see him?” Cisco asked, eager like a puppy dog, whose best friend had finally come strolling from down the street.

Iris smiled softly, placing a hand on her husband's best friend, shoulder. "Of course you can. Just—"

“We'll be quick. Nora needs him.” Cisco said looking sadly back at the little girl, who had no idea her world was about to be turned upside down.

"Thank you," Iris said, eyes welling back up with tears.

"And you do too," Cisco replied, before pulling Iris into a tight bear hug. Despite their closeness, Iris could count on one hand the number of times that Cisco had hugged her.

Iris hated that this had been the occasion to prompt another one.

Soon, she felt Cisco's tears, streaming down the side of her face, onto her neck.

"You as well," Iris said, as they parted. "And Barry needs his.best.friends," she continued, poking a gentle finger in Cisco's chest, then looking to Caitlin. "So you two go, while you can."

Cisco nodded stoically, then turned in pursuit of the med bay. Caitlin followed behind him.

Joe West, who'd been watching extended his free arm to his daughter, who he knew so badly needed it. Iris sniffed, then let her weight fall into the seat next to him, burying her face in his chest. "Oh, Dad," she said, finally allowing her tears to fall, freely.

"I know, baby girl."Joe's own voice was trembling, as he embraced Iris in a side hug. "I know."

Just like Iris with Barry, it was all he could say, for no words could fully encapsulate what he was feeling for the man he'd raised, or his daughter, who was losing her husband, and the father of her child.

Not to mention Nora.

Iris continued to take comfort in her father’s arms until she felt a small hand on her shoulder.

"Don't cry, mama!" Nora said.

Realizing Nora was paying attention, Iris wiped her face.

"I'm not crying, baby," Iris said quickly, putting on her best motherly smile. It was the first time she'd ever lied to Nora or had had to put on a brave face for her.

But it would not be the last if fate had its way.

The little girl sat down Joe's phone, then crawled from his lap into Iris's. "Good. Mama too beautiful to cry," Nora said, repeating what she'd heard Barry say to her a thousand times. A soft kiss to Iris's cheek accompanied her comforting words.

"Thank you baby girl," Iris said, looking into Nora's eyes. She was every bit her father's child, from the way it was instinct to comfort her, to the way her eyes matched his shade of green's perfectly.

Iris looked over to her own father, who was crying silently. Though she didn't speak, her eyes said every bit of, "How am I supposed to tell her?"

Before he could say anything, Cisco and Cait returned from the med bay.

"Back already?" Iris asked, surveying their expressions. The closer they got, the more the severity of the situation hit her.

Cisco tried to speak, but a lump in his throat prevented it. Caitlin stepped in. "He doesn't have much time, guys, an hour at best. His heart rate has dropped to 350."

Iris gasped.

"He's in good spirits, considering everything," Caitlin added, to soften the blow. "Right Cisco?"

Silence followed. Cisco stood there, face blank.

"Right Cisco?" Caitlin asked again.

"He's really dying," Cisco deadpanned, staring off into the distance. "He's really dying. My best friend, my family is... dying. Barry is dying. I just. Can't."

"Cisco...," Caitlin said, attempting head off his breakdown.

"I'm sorry Joe...Iris...but I can't be here for this. I—" Cisco started, before running towards the exit.

Though she'd held up well up until this point, it was Caitlin's turn to break down. Voice thick with sobs, she relayed to Iris, "He wants to see you and Nora, Iris. Joe too," she said. Her voice was gentle, but there was an ominous warning in it. When she was sure Iris understood, she then turned to go find where Cisco had run off to.

"Well, I guess this is it," Joe said, voice laced with finality.

"You go first, dad," Iris offered.

"Are you sure?"

Iris nodded. "Yes, he needs you too," she said gently nudging him in the shoulder.

"Not nearly as much as he needs you and Nora."

"Please, It'll give me time to prepare her," Iris said, though her words were in vain. There was nothing she could do or say to prepare her daughter for this.

Joe West decided to take Iris up on her offer and go say goodbye to his son-in-law. "Like them, I'll be quick. Barry should spend his last moments with his wife and child."

Iris nodded, as more tears streamed down her face.

"I-I'm sorry," Joe said when he realized the reaction Iris had to those words.

"I know, dad. Go to him. Please."

Joe stood, took in a deep breath, before departing towards the med bay.

Left alone, Iris sat with her daughter, who'd grown oddly quiet.

"You okay, baby girl?" Iris asked, raking her fingers through her loose brown curls.

Without Joe's phone to occupy her, Nora was becoming restless. "I want dada,” she said, stirring gently in Iris’s lap.

"I know, baby,” Iris said, softly.

“Now,” said the almost four-year-old, humping her shoulders defiantly.

“We’re going to go see him in just a few minutes, okay?”

“Yayy!” The little girl beamed, perking up. “I love dada.”

“And dada loves you.”

“THIS much,” Nora said, stretching her arms wide the way Barry always showed her.

Iris laughed. “Yes. Even more than that actually.”

Just the mention of Barry seemed to calm Nora a little. She sat in Iris’s lap, facing forward, still enough that Iris could rock her gently. It was a task to keep her emotions in check and stifle her cries, but keeping Nora from feeling any of the sadness was enough to motivate her.

Soon enough, Nora would feel enough pain, and if she could shield her from it for even another second, it would be worth it.

  
When Iris saw Joe West emerge, in the room, Iris took in a deep breath.

“You need to go to him, now,” is all Joe said. He wasn’t crying anymore, but he looked just like a man who’d stared death in the face.

Iris blinked back her tears, and rose in haste, daughter cradled close to here.

"I'll be here if you need me,” he added.

Iris nodded gently and headed back to the med bay.

Every step was excruciating. She couldn’t get back to Barry fast enough, but also, she was dreading this reunion between father and child. The last gathering of their little family shouldn’t take place in STAR labs.

It wasn’t fair.

“There are my girls,” Barry said, voice considerably weaker than before. Iris smiled at her husband, but couldn’t help but cut her eyes at the heart monitor.

278.

Just 78 beats away from the onslaught of death. You couldn’t tell by looking into his eyes though, mangled body aside, because all Iris saw was overwhelming relief that she’d made it back with Nora in time for a final goodbye.

“Yeah, we’re here,” Iris said gently.

“Oh wait,” Barry said when he realized Nora’s back was to him. “Can you?” He barely motioned for Iris to lift the sheets up over his body, so his daughter wouldn’t see any of the scars on his body—just his face, which was still a little beaten up, but not like the rest of him.

One of the others had, thankfully, already sat him up already sat him up.

“Of course, baby.” Iris used her free hand to fulfill one of her husband’s last requests. Looking up at him gently, Iris said, “I couldn’t tell her, I don’t know how to break her heart Barry.”

“It’s okay,” he said, taking her hand in hers. “Let me try.”

Though Iris hated letting Barry bear this burden she, physically, wasn’t able to do this right now. She nodded, then leaned down and kissed Barry. His lips were scabbed over, and rough, and yet it was a kiss she would savor for all of eternity.

“Nora,” Iris said, attempting to pry Nora from her arms. Despite her resilience, the first signs of fatigue were showing on her. Her body drooped in Iris’s arms, but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t be brought out of.

“Hmm?” She asked, raising her head.

“You wanted to see dada, remember?”

The little girl smiled. “Yes. Dada. Dada!”

Iris pivoted her body so that Nora was facing Barry. Her eyes immediately found her father. His skin was paler than normal, his face was bruised, and his lips were singed. The little girl turned and hid her face in Iris’s arms. “That’s not dada,” she cried. “That’s a monster.”

Iris rubbed her hand up and down her back. “No, Nora, it is Dada.”

“NO!” The little girl buried her face further into Iris's chest.

The monitor beeped again, and Iris couldn’t help herself.

272.

270.

264.

“Nora,” Iris said, voice distraught. “This is dada. He’s just got a boo boo. You know how when you fell off of your tricycle, and dada patched you up with the dinosaur band-aids?”

The little girl peeked back at the man in the bed, one eye open, one closed “He doesn’t have band-aids.”

“I know. But.”

“So. It’s not my dada!” She said, turning back.

260.

258.

256.

252.

248.

Iris looked back at Barry, who looked utterly broken. “Oh, Barry. What am I supposed to do? She asked, panicked. _We don’t have much time left._ “She’s terrified.”

Using her free hand, she grabbed Barry’s hand in hers. He gave it a squeeze and brought his other one on top of hers. “I have an idea,” he said, smiling.

“Babe?”

“Just trust me.”

“Always and forever.” 

Barry cleared his throat, and suddenly Iris knew exactly where he was going with this.  
  
“Can’t say how the days will unfold,” Barry sang, starting weakly. Slowly, Nora turned towards the voice responsible for the song Barry had not only used to propose to Iris, but also, the song that had become one of Nora’s favorite bedtime lullabies.

“Can’t change what the future may hold, but I want you in it, every hour, every minute," he continued.

“Dada?” Nora asked, looking around the room for the familiar face she’d heard those words from a million times.

Iris took a step closer to the bed. Louder, Barry continued, “This world can race by far too fast. Hard to see while it’s all flying past, but it’s clear now—“

“Dada!” Nora screamed, eyes wide, as she realized the injured man in front of her wasn't a monster, it was indeed actually her father. Nora nearly jumped out of Iris’s arms onto the gurney. She landed in his chest like a brick, and Iris thanked the heavens that he was still hopped up on painkillers.

“Yes,” Barry laughed. “It’s dada. Can I have a hug?”

“Yes!”

The little girl snuggled into Barry’s arms. He wrapped his arms around her, as tightly as he could on his own. Iris finished the distance, lifting his arms to close the embrace.

“There’s my beautiful girl,” he said, resting his head on top of hers. “I missed you so much,” he said, tears streaming from his eyes in a fury.

“Sing, more dada. I sleepy,” Nora cooed.

“Okay, but first,” he said, glancing up at Iris who was watching, with both hands over her mouth, “I need to talk to you. Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Mhmm.”

Barry gulped. Iris squeezed his hand again. “How would you feel if I went to heaven?” He said, as gently as he could.

“With the angels?”

“Yes. With the angels.”

“Can I come too?”

“One day, but hopefully not for a really, really, really, long time,” Barry said.

“You want to go by yourself?”

“I don’t want to, but I have to.”

“Can I visit you?”

“Well, no. Not exactly.”

“Then NO!” Nora said, tearing away from Barry. “No, no, no!” She sniffled.

Loss for words, Barry looked to Iris for help. Iris kneeled down, so she was eye level to Nora. “Baby, you know how dada is a hero, right? How he saves people?”

“Mhmm.

“Well, he saved a lot of people tonight. Me, grandpa, Uncle Cisco. Caitlin. Even you,” she said, poking her gently in the chest.

“Me?”

“ESPECIALLY you, Nora.”

The little girl smiled.

Iris continued. “You know why that is, right?"

“Why?”

“Because he loves us, and you, more than anything.”

“This much?” The little girl outstretched her arms again.

“YES!” Iris continued, through her sobs.

“Saving everyone took a lot out of dada, though, and,” Iris started, before the monitor beeped again: 236.

Iris bit back the cries lodged in her throat, unable to continue.

“You’re doing amazing, Iris,” Barry offered.

230.

228.

222.

“But now,” she continued, it’s time for him to rest, in heaven with the angels.”

"Now?"

“Yes. They’re going to come to get him really, really soon, Nora, so I need for you to give him the biggest hug and kiss you can scrounge up, and tell him how much you love him, okay?”

“But I don’t WANT dada to go.”

220.

“I know, baby. I don’t either, but he has to.”

218.

“Nora, baby, please,” Iris pleaded.

“Iris. It’s okay,” Barry assured her. “She’s just too young, baby.”

Iris looked up at her husband .“I can’t do this, Barry,” she said, whispering. “How am I supposed to raise her alone?”

“Yes, yes you can. You are going to be a wonderful mother. You already are, and you’re only going to get better by the day. I believe in you, more than you know,” Barry crooned. “More than myself, even.”

Soon, the room was filled with Nora’s gentle snores. Both parents breathed a sigh of relief. Truth be told, Nora was just too young to fully understand that her father was leaving for good, and never coming back. As much as Iris would have loved to prepare her, the pain would hit her in stages, as she got older.

Beep.

“Oh, God,” Iris said. “216.”

“Now, enough crying,” Barry said. “Come lay with me, Iris. I can’t think of anything I’d rather do with the rest of my time than lay in between my two favorite girls.”

Iris had no choice but to climb into the gurney, even though this was the last absolute place she wanted to be. She and Barry were supposed to be in bed right now, fresh off of putting Nora to sleep, and getting ready to sleep in each other’s arms.

She lifted Barry’s left arm so that she was snuggled up against him, as Barry used his right to pull Nora closer to him.

“I love you so much, Barry, I’ll never stop loving you, baby.”

210.

“I love you too, more than anything."

208.

“I’ll make sure Nora never, ever forgets you, how much you loved her, or the wonderful man you are."

206.

Barry pressed a kiss to Iris’s mouth, this time deeper than the one before. They took their time, to really savor each other's mouths since it would be a long time before they could again.

“I already know that," Barry said when they parted. "I knew it long before we got together, and before Nora was even conceived. That’s the kind of person you-“

204.

202.

200.  
“The kind of person I-,”

**Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> Also, I don't have kids, so I think Nora's speaking too well for a 3, almost 4, year old, but I don't know. Probably should've just made her five. 
> 
> Also, regarding the heartbeat, I figured that a speedster's heart rate, since it beats so rapidly, would prove to be critical if it dropped too a number like 200 (which would be way to fast for a regular person). I made it up, yes.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed.


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